Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Lit TV

There aren't enough highbrow literary programmes on TV featuring obscure academics, and if there were, they'd be shit. But here's the answer: why not just assimilate them, using established mainstream formats? And here are the pitches:

Candide Camera
A crack team of Voltaire scholars play a series of crazy literary pranks on unsuspecting members of the public, with inevitably hilarious consequences

Rupert Brookeside
A dramatic soap following the trials and tribulations of a community of World War 1 poetry experts.

CSI Murakami
A squad of Japanese literature fans solve gruesome but metaphysical crimes, helped along the way by a team of magical cats and kooky waifs.

Wife of Bath Swap
A pair of Chaucer scholars switch spouses for a week, with hilarious – and increasingly highbrow – consequences.

The House of TS Eliot
A group of prickly experts on modern poetry are forced to share a house together while they attempt to set up and run their own fashionable clothing company. Will infighting about the nature of postmodernism destroy their business?

Heartbreak Hiawatha
A youth-orientated soap in which a group of literate teens fall in and out of love, while discussing Longfellow in trochaic tetrameter.

How could it possibly fail?


Anonymous said...

Brilliant... love the puns, you should be hired by a the BBC as their official 'pun-master'

Candide Camera...brilliant.

Edmund Hardy said...

Only Foucault and Horses

A dramatic sitcom about a Cockney postmodernist philosopher on the make. In each episode he and his weedy brother buy in dodgy Enlightenment concepts about ontology, ethics, and post-national politics, then mark them up down the academic marketplace. Constantly, they make play of the haeccity of meaning by blurring languages and contexts, for example in their catchphrase, "Mangetout, my friend, mangetout", and by saying, "Au revoir" as a greeting.

From Asbo To Exploring The Nature Of Personhood In Ancient Greece

Low-grade reality TV show in which six disaffected youths from inner-city areas are transformed in two weeks into radical re-interpreters of Ancient Greek culture.

Edmund Hardy said...

Actually that second title ought to be "Asbo Teen to Discussing The Nature of Selfhood In Ancient Greek Culture Queen"

Anonymous said...

I know I'm entering more on the film side but how about John Locke, Stock and Two Smoking J.M. Barrie’s, where four young philosophical chancers trace the origin and history of ideas, whilst getting involved in a poker game with a notorious villain and collector of rare editions of Peter Pan.