The response was overwhelming, with stories flying in from a range of different sources. I don't believe Ian reads this blog, so I don’t think I'll be spoiling the speech by unveiling a few of the responses here (subbed so they read nicely, natch).
NB It's important to bear in mind, when reading these anecdotes, that Ian earns over £50,000 a year. But also that he is a lovely guy, who is completely aware of his stinginess and finds it incredibly amusing. Enough, off we go:
"I met up with Ian at the end of last year. Hadn't seen him in ages, probably over a year. We decided to go to this bar and grab some food there. Ian ordered a pint of squash and his pizza at the bar, total cost £9.50. Unfortunately, the minimum spend at the bar to use a credit card was £10. What to do? Ian disappeared for 15 minutes to find a cash machine. Fifty pence in the bank."
"Ian once travelled 40 minutes to Angel in North London to get a haircut, as he'd seen them advertised for £5. When he'd queued up and eventually been directed to the barber, he was asked how he would like his hair-cut. The conversation went something along the lines of:
Ian: "Short back and sides – but using scissors only."
Barber: "Certainly sir."
Ian: "That is for a fiver?"
Barber: "It's £6, sir."
Ian: "It says on the window it's for £5."
Barber: "The window says '£5 with clippers', but for scissors it's £6."
Ian (eventually): "I’ve only got a fiver so I’d better go and get some more cash out – I’ll just pop to the bank opposite and be back in a minute."
"He never returned."
"...or when, on a road trip round Scotland, he decided he wasn't prepared to pay £3.50 for soup, so left the restaurant, bought a deep-fried pizza for £2, realised it was disgusting and had to throw it away."
"…the fact that he held all our deposit money for the stag hotel in a high interest account for three months…"
"On his birthday, we went out for a meal. After paying for Ian's curry and drinks, the group descended to an establishment called Brown's, a grotty strip joint where the girls collect their earnings by handing round a pint glass, to which everyone contributes £1 coins. Ian was bought further drinks. Despite having not spent anything all night, he made a frenzied dash to the loo every time a lady came round with a pint glass in order to avoid paying the fee.
"But though he tried to hide, he was witnessed peeping round the toilet door every time a girl came round to see when the coast was clear. Ian only got caught out one time, but sniggered afterwards: 'I only put 20p in there and they didn't know'."
"My fave one is when he said he couldn't stay for a pub supper at the Railway pub as he had half a pepper in the fridge that he had to use up."