Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Christmas message

After the NTL debacle (below), here's something to cheer us all up. It's a festive message from my old sparring partner Tadich, which he sent round on Christmas Eve last year, after a couple of months spent working in Russia:

Subject: счастливый светский праздничный сезон, товарищи!

Greetings, decadent Western Papists. Comrade Tadich here, wishing you a productive secular day of enjoyment. May you drink much vodka and meet all your industrial production targets for the current Five Year Plan.

As usual, I will be spending the day of your repugnant saviour's birth toiling steadily at the Televised Information Dissemination Plant #3314. Do not spare a thought for me, as I labour happily for the good of the republic. I am told by my local soviet that if I exceed my output rating, I qualify for a voucher to receive a new colour television with a vertical hold dial!

Although I cannot be with you for your disgusting imperialist orgy of consumption, I have been informed by my sector kompromat that travel documents have been issued in my name to the Toronto oblast for Jan 30 to Feb 8. I expect to see you all during that period for at least one drink and a confession of who is wrecking the Byelorussian grain quota on pain of testicular electrocution.

In solidarity,
Death to Spies!

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