Saturday, October 07, 2006

Quiet life

Whenever I'm knackered and just want a quiet Saturday and Sunday relaxing, it'll get to Friday and someone at work will ask me what I'm up to at the weekend.

"I'm knackered, so I'm gonna stay in and do nothing," I'll have to say, and the acquaintance - who won't realise I've had a particularly sociable and tiring week - will raise their eyebrows and think, "He has no mates and nothing to do. What a loser."

Possible solution 1. Instead of saying I plan to "do nothing", I could go into more detail and name every little thing I'm aiming to do. So: "I'm knackered, so I'm just going to try and watch Oldboy, Apt Pupil, 2046, In the Mood for Love and a bit of That Mitchell and Webb Look. Then read some of Hisham Matar's In the Country of Men, a bit of Girl With a One Track Mind by Abby Lee, and Cornelius Medvei's Mr Thundermug. Might pop to the shops to buy a picture frame, probably after I've had fish and chips for lunch and hoovered the lounge. It'll probably also involve aimlessly playing a bit of guitar when I feel the boredom closing in. And you?"

Possible solution 2. Give more precise excuses for why I'll be "doing nothing". "For me, this week has been dominated by the kind of lascivious wasailing I've hitherto only dreamt of, featuring friends of all ages, genders and colours, old and new, celebrity and hermit. I've probably only had a total of 14 minutes' sleep since 1992, so I'll probably stay in, for the first time, well, ever actually. You?"

7 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

In my experience, people only ask me this if they're trying to make small talk. Because I don't have a life, I generally don't have a lot to give in answer, so I always feel outted that I'm boring and have no life - and I wind up feeling irked.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, BTW!

CyberCelt said...

Tell them you are driving to the coast. If you don't live near a coast, say you are driving to the mountains. If you don't live near mountains, tell them you are going to the country.

Add wine tastings, art fair, star gazing, camping, rock collecting, sound studio--whatever fits your fancy. They will be jealous and will not ask again. LOL

mhari said...

You could always say you're having a Duvet Day. Duvet Days are great, they involve pyjamas, crisps and dvds and you can have them any day of the week/end.

I've just realised how girlie that was. Substitutes include: boxer shorts, the Bravo channel and cans of beer.

* (asterisk) said...

I like "Do you really care or are you just making small talk?"

Dinah said...

I usually try to make it sound that I'm trying to sort through thousands of invites and demands on my time, when all I really want is a pyjama-filled weekend with nothing on the schedule.

I like the first option, though.

Kusems said...

I vote for the second one, definately. But if you decide to go with the first one, don't forget to mention you'll probably blog a little, because everyone knows blogging is reserved for only the coolest people. They definately won't think you're a loser if you tell them you'll spend your weekend blogging.

Will said...

To sum up then: I will say this: "You're just trying to make small talk aren't you? I have thousands of invites, but I'll probably either drive to the coast to go wine tasting or have a beer-fuelled Duvet day in my boxer shorts. Whilst blogging. Now leave me alone!"