I was OOO yesterday having all sorts of crazy fun in Leeds, so I didn't have a chance to write something cliched and boring about how rubbish England are at football, following their defeat to Croatia in the Euro 2008 qualifiers.
It was all very depressing, but commentator John Motson considerably cheered me up after the final whistle when he hilariously combined doomy summary with a ridiculous last spurt of optimism: "England are out of the European Championships... Unless Andora score in the next four minutes!"
Seconds later it was back to the pundits, with gloommeister Alan Hansen suggesting that the match was "definitely a low point in English history". He's right: the first day of the Somme, the arrival of the Black Death in England and the Amritsar Massacre really did pale into insignificance.