Thursday, November 01, 2007

"Camden bastard"

I'm all about the predictive dictionary when I'm writing text messages. But I'm equally prone to massive hissy fits when the word I'm trying to include isn't in the dictionary, for example if the phone thinks "Coupnfouti" is a more common word than "Bournemouth".

Luckily, having owned a good sensible mobile for a few months now, I can easily add these non-dictionary words as I go along. However, a few days back, I found an option called "My words", which produces a list of all the new words I've added since buying the phone. With its combination of familiar names and places, cultural allusions and angry swear words, it's quite bizarre reading, not least because of the nearly-alphabetical-but-not-quite ordering.

Probably best not to read the following if you're prone to outrage or confusion.

  • BBC
  • Camden
  • bastard
  • Cavendish
  • bday
  • Chandos
  • Cheeky
  • Chelmsford
  • Chiropody
  • Birdy
  • Cleaver
  • blog
  • bollocks
  • Cornwall
  • Bourne
  • Bournemouth
  • Brentford
  • Brixton
  • Croydon
  • arsed
  • cunt
  • autistic
  • Facebook
  • Darren
  • Farringdon
  • Dick
  • dick
  • Eleanor
  • DLR
  • Dorset
  • Franz
  • fuck
  • Fuck
  • fucked
  • Fucking
  • fucking
  • DVD
  • DVDs
  • Euston
  • I've
  • gaff
  • Gallagher
  • Glastonbury
  • incestuous
  • Hotmail
  • Hungover
  • hungover
  • K.
  • k?
  • Lambeth
  • Larive
  • Kearns
  • Kennington
  • Jolene
  • Kubrick
  • lunching
  • Macca
  • natch
  • Olly
  • Murukami
  • Paddington
  • Parkhouse
  • rewind
  • Phew
  • shit
  • Shit
  • shitting
  • Pilkington
  • pissing
  • Sisyphus
  • Ritzy
  • Southampton
  • Soz
  • soz
  • psychic
  • Stacey
  • sthg
  • Stimpson
  • Tesco
  • unbeatable
  • tmrw
  • USB
  • traipse
  • Wenn
  • Wilco
  • Wilkes
  • Wimborne
  • Winslet
  • Woah
  • Wogan
  • Yum
  • Xxx
  • xxx

6 comments:

Huw said...

I still get a kick out of typing "coal" and then pressing the alternative word button a couple of times...

Chris said...

It's the 21st century Haiku. Only longer. Glad to see that Stimpson makes it onto your list. Mine contains fuchsia, bit no Parkhouse I'm afraid. It's easier to type it was two words.

Afe said...

Potty fingers.

Will said...

Shot / pint / riot is a goodie too.

There's something incredibly meaningful about this list, which I'm struggling to convey. It's intensely personal, I guess, so maybe I shouldn't bother trying.

Will said...

Or, as Afe might point out, I have textual Tourette's.

Chris, were you reading The Goose at 2.09am in Ecuador? If so, well done.

Chris said...

I would like to say that I stayed up all night in Ecuador reading it, but I think it's just the time difference.