Niko case

From The Observer:

"Tom Bissell was an acclaimed, prize-winning young writer. Then he started playing the video game Grand Theft Auto. For three years he has been cocaine addicted, sleep deprived and barely able to write a word. Any regrets? Absolutely none."

That's a great standfirst. The full article - here - is even better ("Soon my pillowcases bore rusty coins of nasal drippage"), so go and read it this second.

I Told You I Was Freaky - Flight of the Conchords

"Some people say that rappers don't have feelings. We have feelings," raps Brett McKenzie on the opening track of Flight of the Conchords' second album. Sounding vulnerable and miffed, he continues, "Some people say that we are not rappers," with colleague Jemaine Clement adding defiantly: "We're rappers. It hurts our feelings when you say we're not rappers." Read more...

The Goose honks elsewhere

A bit more extracurricular writing for The Quietus from me, by way of the new Brendan Benson album over here. By the way, did you ever read their fantastic interview with Sir Patrick Moore? I wish I had his reviewing skillz. "This song did make an impression on me. A negative one. Ha ha ha!"

State of the art

As a Goldsmiths alumnus and lover of pretentiousness of all kinds, I couldn't resist this little nugget from Will Hodgkinson's article in Sunday's OMM about whether the country's art schools are still an effective breeding ground for our pop stars. I miss that place...

For his degree show, Alex Fear is planning on installing a working brothel at Goldsmiths. Don't the lecturers mind? "Funnily enough, they don't," he claims, "although they are concerned about the illegality of it."

Fear grew up infatuated with pop culture. He has had haircuts modelled on all four members of McFly and says of that boy band: "I really love them, and still can't tell if I'm being ironic or not." He claims that coming to Goldsmiths was the only option for him.

Full article here

Believe.

The Electric Goose's new baby sister

This is probably going to make me sound a bit like a list-making OCD wrist-wringer, but for the past 11 and a half years, I have been writing down the name of every book I've read. It's simple, really: when I finish a book, I add it to the list.

I started doing this back at school in 1997, after a teacher, Mr Macfarlane, told our history class that the 19th century British Prime Minister William Gladstone used to read around 60 books a year - during his premiership. The man was devouring books like they were cheese and chive flavoured Pringles, in between running the country, bickering with Disraeli and inviting prostitutes back to his house for tea and biscuits. And I began to wonder if I got through that many (books, not whores, or biscuits), as someone who didn't have to rule the UK as well. So I started making a record.

Then, a few years ago, I discovered that Art Garfunkel has been doing the same thing since 1968 and I realised that untamed haircuts aren't the only thing we have in common.

Anyway, the reason for this confession is because I recently digitised my list, in case of fire (oh, all right, because I was bored), which means The Electric Goose now has a sister blog, called Blog After Reading. She wears glasses, is slightly pretentious and lives here.

Award in your ear

It's glitzier than the Oscars, more pointless than the Brits and bitchier than the, um, TV Quick Awards. Yes, it's my Orange's Alternative Celebrity Awards 2008! See who won...

Know your Onion

This is brilliant.

Jobberish

Woke up this morning having just been told by a woman in my dream that, "These companies are chosen because they're bi-orientational." I think it was because I'd read this excellent article on the BBC website yesterday, '50 office-speak phrases you love to hate'.

My most loathed office jargon phrase is probably, "Guys, we don't need to reinvent the wheel here", although I used to hate it when my old boss would constantly postpone the discussion of relevant issues indefinitely by saying, "That's something we need to talk about" (and then not talk about it).

More recently, there was a huge reshuffle at work last week in which it was revealed that employees who would be moving to the new framework without changing role were "mapped", while the people whose jobs were going to be merged were described as "pooled" and those who were going to be made redundant were, simply, "displaced".

No Sun of mine

Wow, this is the most outrageously sexist bit of hokum I've read in quite some time.

In the wake of “outrage” over Holly Willoughby’s low-cut dress (viewers: 9.8 million, complaints: five), Britain's biggest selling newspaper The Sun has produced a “hilarious” breast-orientated TV listings feature. Here are two jawdroppingly awful extracts:

12.30pm Loose Women (ITV1)
More topical debate from these feisty female presenters... blah blah blah, whatever. Just hit the mute button, sit back and gawp at Coleen Nolan's marvellous hooters.

8.00pm Relocation, Relocation (C4)
While Phil is on the lookout for a family home in Felixstowe for ex-fireman Richard and his wife Laurie, Kirstie Allsopp is in Swindon showing off a cracking set of norks.

Gall Mart

The Amis vs Bennett racism debate continues today, with Martin getting his knife out:

"What you say about something is never your last word on any subject. But what you write should aspire to be just that: your last word. To paraphrase and slightly adapt Vladimir Nabokov (Strong Opinions): I think like a genius, I write like a distinguished man of letters, I talk like an idiot.

"Ronan Bennett thinks like an idiot."

The rest is here. (The battle seems to have mainly taken place on the pages of The Guardian, with an occasional foray into The Independent.)

If you want to catch up, Terry Eagleton writes about the early days of the spat here - "a Sunday Times profile of me attributed my wrath to a visceral, punk-like obsession with clobbering others." Amis's subsequent response to Eagleton is here - "Can I ask him, in a collegial spirit, to shut up about it? " Bennett's scathing "shame on us" attack is here - "He got away with as odious an outburst of racist sentiment as any public figure has made in this country for a very long time". Christopher Hitchens' defense of Amis here - "I am not writing as Amis's worst enemy". Ian McEwan weighs in here - "inflated, hysterical pull-quotes". And Chris Morris has a go here - "Martin Amis is the new Abu Hamza". What fun!

Ethics kin

My friend Sophie has turned to blogging. Ladies and gentleman, introducing... Ethics Girl!

Twins, 8, save world with new invention

This way please.

Toilet humour

My friend James had The Worst Day of His Life yesterday.

He's recounted the terrible (but also hilarious) happenings over on HNBBBIBD today; I found it particularly poignant as the Oldboy-like events occurred in the very house I used to live in. It could have been me. Anyway, read and weep.

The ghost with the most

Ghostsign Sam (him of this fame) is BACK. So look out.

Actually, don't look out. Look at your screen. But first click here and you'll get his new blog. Then look at your screen. And read the words. Also look at the pictures.

NOW GO.

Best (auto)mates

Mmmm, cool...





Via Reading Matters
Do it yerself

Quote of the day

"I once got into trouble at a Fabian Society function when I said, perhaps a little tactlessly, that I thought [Liberal Democrat MP] Sarah Teather looked like a Pokemon, upsetting a nearby Lib Dem grandee. But they didn't understand that I was going through a real Pikachu phase at the time and was relating everyone and everything to a Pokemon."

From Beyond the New Economic Anthropology

Tone down

As Tony Blair celebrates 10 years of being Prime Minister, not everyone is rejoicing like an idiot. Some of us are busy writing very important pieces of investigative news journalism. Get informed.

Reading matters

The Guardian was on form yesterday. If you didn't get it, please read these:

Funny old world
As a show featuring Muslim comedy starts a British tour, its star tells Sarfraz Manzoor why Islam can laugh at itself, why fundamentalists don't get the joke - and why he's definitely hanging on to his beard
"Usman will be opening his British shows with an observation about how different the vibe is in Britain compared to the US. 'When I walk down the street in America I get dirty looks for being Muslim - here I'm hated just for being an American.'"

Sunshine
Peter Bradshaw reviews Danny Boyle's new film
"Icarus I was the first mission, led by Capt Pinbacker (Mark Strong) which went out some years ago and disappeared with crew and mega-bomb unaccounted for. Perhaps they all became demoralised by the frankly rather tactlessly chosen name."

How the web became a sexists' paradise
Everyone receives abuse online but the sheer hatred thrown at women bloggers has left some in fear for their lives. Jessica Valenti, editor of Feministing.com, reports
"It was, without doubt, the most humiliating experience of my life - all because I dared be photographed with a political figure."

Moira Stuart profile
Media celebs question BBC decision to dump one of its older female newsreaders
"She comes from an older generation, where the journalists did the journalism, and the newscasters, with magisterial authority, read the news without any inflection of opinion or judgment, except possibly a tiny half smile at the skateboarding canary."

East Coker does not deserve the taint
of TS Eliot's narcissistic gloom
A Somerset village with a golden-toned church was done a serious disservice by this bleak, American poet
"In my beginning is my end," he began the poem and ended it, "in my end is my beginning". This faintly oriental paradox leaves Eliot pilgrims scratching their heads before stomping off to the Helyar Arms down the road.

An Armand a leg(end)

Although the Armando Iannucci Shows first appeared six years ago, one particular sketch of his stuck in my head the whole time. Salvadore from Smaller Than Life has awakened this dormant memory in my oft-confused brain with a hilarious series of posts. Read them, then watch Iannucci work his magic. Or vice versa, it doesn't really matter.

Crisp rejoinder

This is my kind of blog post. We need to keep the dialogue going.


The Electric Goose: a crisp retrospective
August 12 2005: Crisp innovation league
February 6 2006: A letter of complaint
February 14 2006: A crisp response
March 2 2006: The death of Mishima / the birth of new Hula Hoops