Spot the difference

Armstrong and Miller's valspeaking World War 2 pilots are wonderful -

- but if they seem a bit familiar, it's probably because of these two...


But hey, who cares? It's all good, blud.

Back up

Quite a prolific day for me. Heather Mills; Rhys Ifans and Sienna Miller; stupid captions; The Secret Millionaire; Trinny and Susannah. Latter is a big old-fashioned rant. I would've said they "got on my tits" if it wasn't a family website.

My back still hurts - though I did have fun at the osteopath. We talked about technology while he gently twirled my limbs around. He told me a joke, then crunched the bejesus out of my back. Then he did it again, even harder.

I came to with a sort of shocked grin of amazement on my face. "Where the hell did you learn that?" I wanted to say. And then I thought of Harold Shipman. If Shipman had been an osteopath, just, wow.

Twins, 8, save world with new invention

This way please.

"I let my Dad explode"

I imagine I'm not alone in completely mishearing lyrics in songs now and again. I imagine I'm not alone in making a list of such mishearings and putting them on a blog that's running out of ideas fast. Sigh.

Anyway, here are the five that spring to mind. They're a bit weird. And actually, probably totally unique. [Perks up a little bit.]

Country Girl - Primal Scream
Mishearing: "We'll kill a pope or two."
Actual lyric: "What can a poor boy do?"


Shower Your Love - Kula Shaker
Mishearing: "Well I'm just a stupid dickhead."
Actual lyric: "Well I'm just to stupid to care."


Ha Ha – Ty
Mishearing: "In my corner of the world / Faces disappear like memories / Only to appear on the yellow notice boards saying 'did you seen this or that, Melanie?'"
Actual lyric: "In my corner of the world / Faces disappear like memories / Only to appear on the yellow notice boards saying 'did you seen this or that felony?'"


Jenny from the Block - Jennifer Lopez
Mishearing: "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got / I'm still, I'm still Jennifer Lopoc"
Actual lyric: "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got / I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block"


Regulate – Warren G and Nate Dogg
Mishearing: "I laid all them busters down, I let my Dad explode."
Actual lyric: "I laid all them busters down, I let my Gat explode."

Sentence of the day

It's Charlie Brooker, of course, on the subject of "activity holidays".

"What if a really annoying jabbering, bearded bloke latches on to me on the first day and decides I'm his best mate and won't leave me alone, and I'm stuck with him in some Arizonian wilderness and the sun's beating down and he's talking and talking and farting for comic effect and eating sandwiches and walking around with egg mayonnaise round his mouth until I want to grab the nearest rock and stove his skull in, and carry on smashing and smashing and roaring at the sky until the others dash over to pull me off him, but by then I've gone totally feral and start coming at them with the rock, which by now is all matted with gore and brain and beard hair, and I manage to clock one of them hard in the temple and they're flat on the ground, limbs jerking like an electrocuted dog, but as I swing for the next one some self-appointed hero rugby-tackles me, but I'm still putting up a fight so in desperation they all stamp on my neck until they're certain I'm dead, then throw my body in the river and make a lifelong pact to tell no one the truth of what happened that day?"

Full article

Merchant finery

Well I never.

Tea

11.54am, Saturday 4 November 2007

Back down

My back hurts. Ow. It's been like this for a few days now. Ow. I had to miss a gig I was supposed to be going to on Friday because it'd be painful to stand still for any length of time. Ow. But it also hurts when I'm just sitting, too. Ow. Only lying down and walking about is bearable. Ow. I have a ticket to see a play about genocide on Monday and sitting there for an hour and a half is going to be really painful. Ow. Although I suppose it would be quite crass to complain about a bit of back pain while I'm watching the reenaction of the systematic murders of thousands of people. But still: ow.

Don't bank on it

No, this isn't addressed in the FAQs on their website. Rather inconveniently, I thought.

Pun of the week

With the rumour that Sir Trevor McDonald wants to appear on The X Factor to do a Neil Diamond impression, The Sun goes for…

Diamonds are for Trevor