Signs I have seen #292

It's the place to take your broken stationery...

Made-up Indian jokes #9

Q: If the cherry goes on the cake, where do the Jamaican sprinkles go?
A: Pondicherry.

India part 19b: Ten pics from Dharamsala

More pics from Dharamsala, McLeod Ganj, Bagsu.

 

Made-up Indian jokes #8

Q: What bread is most likely to repeat on you?
A: Parotta.

India part 19a: Dharamsala

We loved Dharamsala. We stayed at the Kasheri Lodge - much recommended. Here's the view from the bed in our room (well, as long as you got up and opened the curtains first).

Again, it felt like we'd entered another country, although our cooking teacher Tashi told us only 10% of the people living there were Tibetan. My previous knowledge of China's occupation of Tibet extended to vaguely remembering that the Beastie Boys once did a concert to try and free it - and to presumably also fight for its right to party. I don't think I'd even seen a prayer flag before and wasn't really conscious of the Dalai Lama's situation and back story, so it was fascinating and shocking to find out the strength of feeling that lay behind signs like this:

While he showed us how to make bread, Tashi, now 35, told us he'd come to Dharamsala in 1997. How did he get here, someone asked. "I walked." He didn't elaborate, apart from to say that it took 28 days. He also told us he was the man responsible for introducing the chocolate momo to the menus of the town's eateries. "No one made chocolate momos when I arrived here!" he said. By this stage, I had gone off them, chocolate or otherwise, after overdosing on mutton momos on the first night. I had eight and I could feel the congealing fat blocking up my pipes.

A series of exhausting early morning yoga sessions helped, though. Our bendy instructor had an immaculate centre parting, gleaming eyes and some wonderful verbal tics, announcing the end of each posture by saying: "Closing time." Another frequently used classic was: "Happy feel, good feel, enjoy feeeeel." And I will never fail to think of him whenever I hear someone say: "Enjoy the all differentdifferent postures."

Made-up Indian jokes #7

Q: Why did no one believe in the Sikh ghost?
A: Because it was just a turban legend.

Signs I have seen #257

Good advice, this. Now where's my gun?

Made-up Indian jokes #6

Q: What did the Indian cop do after catching the minced meat lady thief?
A: Kofta.


THINK ABOUT IT.

India part 18b: Wagah

Arriving at Wagah, where India borders Pakistan, you feel like you're part of a line of refugees, with the presence of stern police on horseback ensuring it's the only queue in the whole of India that's actually single file. The Rough Guide to India got there first in describing Wagah's daily face-off "Pythonesque", but there isn't another word for it as far as I can tell: Indian border guards with massive handlebar moustaches and gaudy uniforms high-kick marching like their lives depended on it, the crowd cheering like crazy, and their Pakastani counterparts across the border apparently doing the same. It's two nuclear powers facing off in the silliest way possible every day - I'm not sure whether it's comforting or terrifying.

I found out afterwards that we would have got a better view if we'd flashed our passports, which gets you admitted to the VIP stand. A shame, but then again, the Indian men-only stand was were the atmosphere was at and where all the chants were coming from ("Bharat Mataji!"). As long as you don't mind some dude with a distinctly un-Western concept of personal space using your shoulder to rest his arm on, what's not to love?

I first heard about this place on John Sergeant's BBC documentary about the Indian railways, but it seems this is a bit of a rite of passage for Beeb correspondents making programmes about the subcontinent...

Made-up Indian jokes #5

Q: Why did Mr Schuester put clarified butter in his hair?
A: He wanted to join Ghee club.