The X Figures

If the last series of The Apprentice was remarkable for repeatedly using the mathematically impossible phrase "110 percent", the current run of The X Factor is outdoing its rival reality show by a factor of about, um, 150 percent. Saturday's edition gave us:

Louis, to auditionee Laura White: "One million percent yes."
Cheryl: "Two million percent yes."
Simon: "One billion percent yes."

While we're on the subject, does anyone else find Simon Cowell's new habit of cooing, "Love you" to successful contestants as they leave the room a teensy bit disturbing?

Anyway, my favourites so far:

Overheard (in my head)

"The Blind Boys of Alabama, yeah, they're really good at what they do. They're not so good at the things they don't do, like cover versions of Bloc Party songs, which is probably why they don't do them."

Taking the Michael

I'd forgotten what a good magazine Empire is. There's a good little interview with Michael "Mr Blonde" Madsen in this month's issue, this bit a particular highlight:

Who's the best James Bond?
Sean Connery, of course. I met Lazenby once. It was really bizarre. I was in an airport on my way to do Die Another Day and this old guy walks up and goes, "Hey Michael, how are you doing?" Shakes my hand. "Love your work!" I'm like, "Thanks very much." He just stood there staring at me. I felt very embarrassed because I thought, "This guy knows me and I don't know him." Then, five seconds later, it was like, "Holy shit! You're George Lazenby!" And he was like, "YES, I AM!" I said, "Wow! I'm on the way to do a Bond film right now!" He goes, "Put a word in for me, wouldja? I think I should be a Bond villain - don't you think I'd be a great Bond villain?" I said, "I'll mention that to Barbara [Broccoli]."

Did you?
No.

Düning up

Herman Düne will doubtless never escape the breezy brilliance of 'I Wish That I Could See You Soon' – but I did enjoy this verse their forthcoming album, 'Next Year in Zion':

And then we were in Stockholm
And it was beautiful in July,
And the day after, this famous Swedish director Ingmar Bergman died.
All the national papers had some special issues,
with beautiful pictures and interesting interviews.
I figured it was unlikely that they would gather all this stuff overnight
They must have needed much more time than this to write.
And it felt rancid.
And you said, "David,
David, don't you know about obituaries?
They keep them at hand for the death of celebrities."
And I said, "I will never get used to how twisted news can be."
Someone knows better than me.
Someone knows better than me.

(from 'Someone Knows Better Than Me')

Glass ceiling

I was a bit bored in my lunch break at work on Bank Holiday Monday this week, so I looked aloft and beheld a glass ceiling of geometrical splendour. Then I went and finished my ciabatta.

Playlist #5: August 2008

Oh, SeeqPod has a much larger range of songs than Project Playlist does. Sorry, PP, but that's the dog-eat-dog world of shared online mixtapes for you. Everyone else: here's number five. (The Camille album is probably the best thing I've heard all year.)


SeeqPod - Playable Search

Olympicballs

"There is just no drama here at the moment."
As the Beijing games finishes, Sky News sends a reporter to London's Olympic stadium building site.

Tonight on BBC2: The Cup

"The move was essential," says gynaecologist Dr Kaskar, explaining why he had to relocate to the North-West. "There are more vaginas in Bolton." Read more...

Lessons learned from... The Dark Knight

Batman needs some Lemsip.

Tonight on BBC2: Maestro

Conducting – it's easy, right? Just dress up in something smart, stand in front of an orchestra listening to some live music for free, and repeatedly try to skewer one of the invisible bees swarming in front of you. Read more...