A collection of comments on classic pop lyrics from an irritated New York hotdog vendor, or something.
"You're no good, heartbreaker - you're a liar and a cheat."
All right, don't beat around the bush, Aretha. Jeez.
"She looks like a painting: Jackson Pollock's Number Five".
Yeah, real funny, Brown. That's my cousin you're talking about. Jeez.
"Tramps like us, baby we were born to run."
Who you callin' a tramp, Springsteen? You're not The Boss of me. Jeez.
"Like a knight from some old fashioned book, I have saved all my ribbons for thee."
Cohen, enough about your fuckin' ribbons, already. Jeez.
"'Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?' He just grinned and shook my hand. 'No' was all he said."
Tough crowd. Jeez.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Last night on BBC3: Natalie Cassidy's Real Britain
Natalie Cassidy, aka Sonia out of EastEnders, is annoyed. Fed up with gossip stories about how perfect celebrities are – although actually only the really boring gossip stories are about how perfect celebrities are – the soap actress is presenting Natalie Cassidy's Real Britain, which tells the story of two unique real people (i.e. not from London, not obviously beautiful) as they hold their noses and hurl themselves face first into the swimming pool of fame.
First up is endearingly naïve South Shields girl Lauren Luke, whose YouTube videos, in which she gives make-up tips, have pulled in a total of more than 30 million views. And what has it got her? Nothing, that's what. Luckily, there's a New York marketing firm who think they can turn the hits into dollars by releasing a make-up line using Lauren's name.
The second story follows the adventures of Nicky Avery, an Essex man diagnosed with breast cancer at the mind-bogglingly young age of 24. He wants to turn the disease into a living – hey, it's his cancer, he can do what he wants with it – so, despite having already sold his story umpteen times, he heads to London for a meeting with Max Clifford in the hope of getting a TV gig. Although both Lauren and Nicky are chasing their dreams in unconventional ways, neither seems to have any beef with celebrity culture, making for a programme that doesn't quite seem to know what it wants to be.
The real life stories work well enough in their own right, but they're bookended by Natalie's tub-thumping "fame culture = last days of Rome" screeds, which at times just seem to be an excuse for the soap star to blow off some steam about the unfair way the celeb magazines have treated her. Could it be that the programme makers have just tacked a celebrity name onto the title in order to pull in a few extra viewers? Surely not!
by Will Parkhouse, Wednesday 4 March 2009
Originally published on Orange.co.uk
First up is endearingly naïve South Shields girl Lauren Luke, whose YouTube videos, in which she gives make-up tips, have pulled in a total of more than 30 million views. And what has it got her? Nothing, that's what. Luckily, there's a New York marketing firm who think they can turn the hits into dollars by releasing a make-up line using Lauren's name.
The second story follows the adventures of Nicky Avery, an Essex man diagnosed with breast cancer at the mind-bogglingly young age of 24. He wants to turn the disease into a living – hey, it's his cancer, he can do what he wants with it – so, despite having already sold his story umpteen times, he heads to London for a meeting with Max Clifford in the hope of getting a TV gig. Although both Lauren and Nicky are chasing their dreams in unconventional ways, neither seems to have any beef with celebrity culture, making for a programme that doesn't quite seem to know what it wants to be.
The real life stories work well enough in their own right, but they're bookended by Natalie's tub-thumping "fame culture = last days of Rome" screeds, which at times just seem to be an excuse for the soap star to blow off some steam about the unfair way the celeb magazines have treated her. Could it be that the programme makers have just tacked a celebrity name onto the title in order to pull in a few extra viewers? Surely not!
by Will Parkhouse, Wednesday 4 March 2009
Originally published on Orange.co.uk
Last night on Channel 4: Red Riding
We'd very much like to shake the hand of the brilliant individual who
signed up the Red Riding cast – that's once they've wiped the great
globs of special thespian pheromones from their sticky mitts. With the likes of David Morrissey, Sean Bean, Paddy Considine, Rebecca Hall, Andrew Garfield, Eddie Marsan and Warren Clarke featuring in this trilogy of feature-length dramas, this must be the most talented bunch of British actors to be seen together on the small screen for quite some time.
Although it'll look familiar to anyone who's seen David Fincher's 2007 film Zodiac, which has both similar tone and content, Red Riding is based on David Peace's quartet of books, which are set against the backdrop of the Yorkshire Ripper murders, though also strongly concerned with alleged police brutality and massive corruption.
It begins with eager young Yorkshire Post journalist Eddie 'Scoop' Dunford (BAFTA-winning Boy A star Andrew Garfield proving he's no one-hit wonder) reporting the murder of a young girl who was killed wearing a red hooded anorak. As he joins the dots between the girl's death and other unsolved child killings years before, his colleague Barry is investigating the shady business activities of one John Dawson (a smarmy but vicious Sean Bean). Is it all somehow connected?
Set in 1974, part one looks fantastically authentic. Thanks to that nicotine filter camera lens, visually it takes its lead from Our Friends in the North or a grimmer Life on Mars: an era when most furniture and items of clothing were either green, brown or beige and when journalists pinned clippings and maps to the wall, instead of Ctrl+C-ing it all into a Word document.
As Eddie probes further and events take their horrifying course, the drama has the feel of a bad dream spiralling surreally out of control. You're likely to end up so sucked in, all that "acting masterclass" stuff will be the last thing on your mind. Very strong stuff.
by Will Parkhouse, Wednesday 4 March 2009
Originally published on Orange.co.uk
Although it'll look familiar to anyone who's seen David Fincher's 2007 film Zodiac, which has both similar tone and content, Red Riding is based on David Peace's quartet of books, which are set against the backdrop of the Yorkshire Ripper murders, though also strongly concerned with alleged police brutality and massive corruption.
It begins with eager young Yorkshire Post journalist Eddie 'Scoop' Dunford (BAFTA-winning Boy A star Andrew Garfield proving he's no one-hit wonder) reporting the murder of a young girl who was killed wearing a red hooded anorak. As he joins the dots between the girl's death and other unsolved child killings years before, his colleague Barry is investigating the shady business activities of one John Dawson (a smarmy but vicious Sean Bean). Is it all somehow connected?
Set in 1974, part one looks fantastically authentic. Thanks to that nicotine filter camera lens, visually it takes its lead from Our Friends in the North or a grimmer Life on Mars: an era when most furniture and items of clothing were either green, brown or beige and when journalists pinned clippings and maps to the wall, instead of Ctrl+C-ing it all into a Word document.
As Eddie probes further and events take their horrifying course, the drama has the feel of a bad dream spiralling surreally out of control. You're likely to end up so sucked in, all that "acting masterclass" stuff will be the last thing on your mind. Very strong stuff.
by Will Parkhouse, Wednesday 4 March 2009
Originally published on Orange.co.uk
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Get your Rock off
After watching the first few episodes before dropping out, I've recently been reacquainting myself with 30 Rock (Five USA seem to have just got round to showing the second season). Friday's 'Rosemary's Baby' episode was a particular corker, and it featured one of the best lines I think I've ever heard in a sitcom.
Having visited the disgusting house of her screenwriting heroine Rosemary Howard, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) is explaining her horror to her confidante, eccentric company CEO Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin). "I don't think she has a toilet," says Lemon. "I saw my future, Jack."
Handing her a glass of red wine, Donaghy replies: "Never go with a hippie to a second location."
This scene, from earlier in the same episode, was also astonishingly good, particularly if you're used to Baldwin's usual strait-laced style of acting.
Having visited the disgusting house of her screenwriting heroine Rosemary Howard, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) is explaining her horror to her confidante, eccentric company CEO Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin). "I don't think she has a toilet," says Lemon. "I saw my future, Jack."
Handing her a glass of red wine, Donaghy replies: "Never go with a hippie to a second location."
This scene, from earlier in the same episode, was also astonishingly good, particularly if you're used to Baldwin's usual strait-laced style of acting.
Friday, February 20, 2009
One random thing about me
I know it's been fashionable to dismiss the "25 random things about me" meme that's been viralling round Facebook by saying, "I really couldn't care less, you narcissitic chump", or words to that effect.
But I've actually really enjoyed reading these infonuggets - after all, these people are my friends, and uncovering a small part of a familiar person's secret history can be quite thrilling, even if it is something slightly mundane like, "I secretly fancy Stephen Mangan."
I started a list myself, but only got to 12 because I was starting to sound like Woody Allen, and not in a good way. So I'll just publish the first "thing about me" I came up with here. To be honest, it makes anything that could possibly follow it seem insignificant and futile. Ready?
1. Until 24 February 2002, I had never seen an episode of The A-Team. By chance, I ate the first bagel of my life exactly five years later, on 24 February 2007. Neither experience was particularly life-changing.
But I've actually really enjoyed reading these infonuggets - after all, these people are my friends, and uncovering a small part of a familiar person's secret history can be quite thrilling, even if it is something slightly mundane like, "I secretly fancy Stephen Mangan."
I started a list myself, but only got to 12 because I was starting to sound like Woody Allen, and not in a good way. So I'll just publish the first "thing about me" I came up with here. To be honest, it makes anything that could possibly follow it seem insignificant and futile. Ready?
1. Until 24 February 2002, I had never seen an episode of The A-Team. By chance, I ate the first bagel of my life exactly five years later, on 24 February 2007. Neither experience was particularly life-changing.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
It ain't me, babe
Ah, hell. Listen, if you're Google-ing my name - and I'm sure you are, every second of every day, can I just say: this is not me.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Twits
I keep vacillating between "getting" Twitter and "not getting" Twitter. Signed up in May last year and didn't get it. Then started to get it. Then didn't use it for a few months, which meant I forgot why I got it and had to start regetting it. But with a load of friends signing up fairly recently, I’m currently getting it, so here’s where you follow me: http://twitter.com/electricgoose. Oh, and you can see recent updates on the right hand side of this very blog, just below my profile picture. Neat.
Snow! In London!
Wow, it was pretty good wasn't it? More of the white stuff rumoured for later today. I'll be welcoming it with open arms, if it happens. Here's some snaps (sadly I can't claim the pictured snowman).
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