GUEST BLOGGER ALERT. Here, my Canadian pal Tadich – who now resides in Moscow - describes what he calls “a rather eventful day for me in the Managed Democracy”...
9am: convenience store near workI am proud to say I conducted this conversation entirely in Russian!
Me: I'll have a packet of sour cream & onion chips, and, er, a red apple please.
Clerk: Green and red! Red and green!
(NB: the bag of chips was green)Me: Yes, it's like a traffic light isn't it?
Clerk: Almost, but you need some yellow!
[Clerk grabs a big bag of cheese-flavoured chips and plonks them down on the counter] Me:
(jokingly) No, I'd rather have some orange juice!
[Clerk suddenly turns all serious; grabs a litre carton of OJ from the fridge behind her, plonks it on the counter, and puts the cheese chips back]Clerk: So, you want to buy the orange juice, then?
Me:
[Sheepishly] No.
[Clerk scowls and rings up the purchase]***
9pm: at the swimming poolAs I round the corner from the shower room into the changing room, a cleaner dumps a bucket of scalding water onto my naked feet.
Me: Ow!
Her: Watch where you're going!
***
10 pm: at the grocery storeThere's a huge line-up (half the length of the store) because only two tills are staffed. But I wait through it cause I need to buy sausages.
An old guy who looks EXACTLY like Lenin c. 1917 (flat cap included) starts shouting very loudly at the store staff for a good five minutes, who completely ignore him.
Then he turns to face his fellow customers, and urges us to form a "union of fellow Russians" and to take our groceries "out onto the streets!" and not pay for them.
In his right hand, he clutches a huge amount of money, what looks like the equivalent of four or five hundred dollars.
***
12am: my apartmentHousemate: Are you cooking sausages?
Me: Yes.
[Long pause. Realise I've never seen him eat meat.] Um... are you a vegetarian?
Housemate:
[Smugly] Yes. But I eat meat once per year. I like the flavour and the texture.
AAARRRGH!
Mmmm, sweet, now it looks like a cross between the Yellow Pages and an entire screen of adverts. But what’s that on the bottom right? A tour of the rejigged site?
Yes it is. Looks interesting: I'd love to see the kind of new Web 2.0 interactive multimedia features they'll be offering me. Bet the tour's really flashy too. Click!
Oh dear. Perhaps they should’ve held off the launch just a few days longer...
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