Some retaliatory quips I’ve enjoyed recently.
Context: Kearns is talking to his Chinese friend and wants to enquire about an acquaintance. Unfortunately he can’t remember the girl’s name, or her racial origin.
Kearns: Is that girl coming along? The, er, oriental one?
Friend: Oriental? She’s not a fucking takeaway.
Context: A middle-aged woman on the bus; a man sitting behind her opens his paper rather noisily and the woman turns round.
Woman: I don’t like your paper in my hair.
Man: I don’t like your hair in my paper.
Source: Diaries 1996-2004, Alan Bennett
Context: Erin Driscoll has just fired Jack Bauer from his job at CTU.
Erin Driscoll: I’ve made several calls, I can help you get a position.
Jack Bauer: I can find my own fucking job Erin. Thank you.
Source: 24 series 4 DVD box set